


Natural Selection and Salted Coffee

by storm_8



Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-15
Updated: 2013-06-15
Packaged: 2017-12-15 01:29:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/843741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storm_8/pseuds/storm_8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The saying goes: too much salt in the food, means the cook's in love...<br/>What does it mean when Jane pours salt into her coffee?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Natural Selection and Salted Coffee

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own the show or its characters. I merely borrow them for everyone's enjoyment.  
> All mistakes are mine.
> 
> Based on a prompt by black_inkfinity at LJ. Have tried to find it again, but was unsuccessful.  
> Spoilers for two scenes from the season 1 finale, but this can be considered an AU. The scenes are just the foundation for this fic...

Jealousy was a green eyed, lousy beast. It made Jane furrow her brow, her nostrils flare, her blood pressure spike, her heart rate increase, adrenaline release. It almost made her revert to the stone ages and cavemen behaviour, release a threatening growl and smack Chuck around, so he would stop flaunting his muscles for the viewing pleasure of a grinning Maura.  
  
  
It was the third time this week that Jane and Maura were working out at the gym together, the third time Jane found Maura staring at Chuck’s biceps and the third time the green eyed monster made an appearance in as many days.  
  
  
It had been a slow week, which had turned into a slow Saturday morning. Jane was happy for the small reprieve from work but she was certainly not happy about Maura staring at Chuck’s  _goddamned_  biceps. For  _three_  days!  
  
  
The blonde had explained the fascination, which the detective had only half listened to. Something about dominant males and natural selection.  
  
  
The brunette was so focused on cursing natural selection in her head, while glaring at Chuck, that she never noticed when her brother Frankie added another 40 pounds to the weight she was lifting. The younger Rizzoli stared in shock when his sister continued lifting the weights just like before, still glaring daggers at Chuck’s bulging muscles.  
  
  
“Janie?” he asked, waving a hand in front of her face.  
  
  
“What?!” She snapped, never stopping her exercise or her attempts at setting another human being on fire with just a look.  
  
  
Frankie looked between his sister and the other end of the room, shaking his head when he understood what was in all likelihood going through her mind. He went back to his workout, grinning from ear to ear and chuckling to himself.

  
******  
  
  
Maura’s Saturday was going better than anticipated. She had agreed to come in with Jane for another workout session and she found herself proving, once again, Darwin’s theory of natural selection. Officer Chuck did indeed have beautifully developed musculature and as Jane had pointed out previously (even though the sarcasm flew right over the doctor’s head), a well proportioned gluteus maximus.  
  
  
The fact that she might be making people uncomfortable or, in Jane’s case, jealous, didn’t register with the blonde. What did register was the brunette moving to another apparatus and start doing sit ups. The medical examiner was slightly surprised to realize that her friend’s abdominal muscles (which were in plain view, seeing as Jane had discarded her sweaty top) were more effective in garnering and keeping her attention than Chuck’s entire musculature put together.

  
******  
  
  
Jane had deliberately moved on in her workout routine, so as to not be subjected to Maura’s constant admiration of someone else’s musculature. She was grumpy and slightly miffed; what was wrong with  _her_ musculature?  
  
  
She took off her top and sat down to do her daily 50 sit-ups.  
  
  
Halfway through her exercise she became aware of intense staring directed her way. So every time she sat up, she did a quick survey of the gym until her eyes landed on Maura, who had actually stopped her workout to stare at her. The detective raised an eyebrow.  
  
  
“Maura? Are… you okay?” She asked loud enough to be heard by the blonde.  
  
  
The medical examiner seemed to snap out of whatever reverie she had descended into and blinked a few times.  
  
  
“Ah… yes, I am fine. Why do you ask?” She gathered her belongings and walked over, peering down at her friend. Or at her friend’s flexing rectus abdominis muscle.  
  
  
Jane smirked, the blonde’s interest in her abs serving as an ego boost. “Well… You’re staring. And it is  _not_  at Chuck’s biceps…”  
  
  
Maura, of course, didn’t notice the smirk or elevated eyebrow. “Indeed. Your rectus abdominis caught my attention…”  
  
  
“My what?” The smirk turned into a grin and she continued doing her sit-ups, only to freeze halfway through one when Maura’s deft fingers landed on her tensed muscles and gently tested their firmness.  
  
  
“Your abdominal muscles, Jane. They are very healthy and nicely developed. More so than one would expect to see in a female.” The doctor explained, continuing her gentle prodding.  
  
  
Jane was frozen on the spot, watching the blonde’s fingers as if they were something alien. Some part of her muddled brain did register that the other woman’s exploring felt quite nice against her bare and sweaty skin.  
  
  
Maura smiled a brilliant smile and retrieved her hand.  
  
  
“I have to go check on Bass. He’s ill.” She said with a frown “He won’t even eat any organic spinach…” She added a few more things and then left with a smile, seemingly not noticing her friend’s lack of reaction.  
  
  
The brunette stared after the doctor for a few moments longer and then released the breath she was holding, collapsing back on the bench with a helpless groan.

  
******  
  
  
Their slow week ended when they caught a case. Driving out toward the crime scene, Jane’s mind was on a loop of what had happened an hour before in the precinct’s gym. She couldn’t get the feeling of Maura’s fingers out of her head and it was very distracting.  _Nice_ , but distracting.  
  
  
Maura greeted her with a smile when she arrived, all swagger and flashing her badge. The brunette faltered in her stride, but quickly regained her composure, pushing the thoughts of the blonde’s fingers on her skin to the back of her mind for the time being.  
  
  
They performed their tasks; interview witnesses, determine time of death, throw theories around, which made the medical examiner frown at all the assumptions, flirt over the dead body (Korsak and Frost just shook their heads at the oblivious women).  
  
  
Upon return to the Police Department, both women walked to the cafeteria to get their respective coffees.  
  
  
Maura was fiddling with her purse, when Jane took a sip of her beverage, only to grimace at the taste. “God!” She complained. “When was this made? November?” The detective grabbed the sugar and poured a healthy dose in, continuing with her complaints “One wants a cup of coffee on the weekend, there’s none upstairs. How are we supposed to work without decent coffee?”  
  
  
The doctor smiled indulgently at the brunette, her mind on her ill tortoise.  
  
  
“With no coffee I’ll be a wreck.” Jane finished her monologue.  
  
  
The other woman nodded absentmindedly “I’ve tried everything… British strawberries, Bok Choy…”  
  
  
The brunette looked at her friend strangely “Are… Are we in the same conversation?”  
  
  
“Oh, sorry. I was talking about Bass.” The M.E. sighed, thinking of her poor tortoise.  
  
  
Jane gave her a sympathetic look, but couldn’t stop the small grin forming on her lips “You’re obsessing over your turtle again?  
  
  
Maura looked up from her coffee preparations and frowned at her “Tortoise!”  
  
  
The detective’s grin only widened.  
  
  
The blonde huffed and threw an amused glare. Then she noticed what Jane was putting into her cup “Do you… like salt in your coffee?”  
  
  
The grin disappeared. The brunette looked down and saw that she was indeed pouring another  _healthy_  amount of salt into her coffee. She frowned and started cursing under her breath.  
  
  
The woman next to her smirked. “You know… When people leave their keys in the car, or sprain their ankle, it indicates something is bothering them. But pouring too much salt in the food means they are in love…”  
  
  
The coffee pot nearly slid out of Jane’s hand at that. She set the new cup and the pot down to stare incredulously at Maura. “What? Who says that? And this is not food! This is coffee.”  
  
  
The medical examiner raised an eyebrow in amusement. “In Europe it is said that when there’s too much salt in the food, the cook is in love. I am well aware that coffee is far from being a solid edible, but if we extrapolate to beverages, I’m sure the meaning remains the same.”  
  
  
The detective stared open mouthed, not knowing how to even start denying what… defending herself? She wasn’t even sure on that simple matter; deny or defend herself from the accusation? Only it wasn’t an accusation; merely a statement. From Maura. That meant there was some truth to it.  _Damn_.  
  
  
While Jane pondered all of that, Maura continued in her explanation. “…Of course, there is no scientific proof that pouring too much salt into food is in any way related to the cook’s emotional state.”  
  
  
“I saw a movie once, in which a girl, upset about her feelings for a young man, started crying while making the dough for her sweets. In the end, when tasted, the sweets did indeed have too much salt.” Jane’s eyes widened, when she realized what she’d said.  
  
  
The blonde blinked in non-comprehension. “Is that your way of saying that you actually agree with what Europeans say about their cooks and salted food?” She asked with a furrowed brow that the other woman found to be endearing.  
  
  
The brunette’s eyes widened even further at that random thought. She shook her head vigorously to clear it from random stray thoughts and to get it functioning properly again. “Let’s just rewind a bit here… I don’t know why I said that; I can’t see you believing a popular saying, European or not; and just because I was salting my coffee, it doesn’t mean I’m  _in love_ … I was distracted!”  
  
  
For some reason that she couldn’t quite explain, Maura did not fully believe the last part of that statement. Maybe it was the fidgeting with the paper cup; maybe the slightly flushed cheeks or the dilated pupils, or even the ragged breathing; maybe her friend’s sudden inability to look her in the eyes.  
  
  
“Are you in love Jane?” she asked in all seriousness “Because if you are, there is no reason for you to think that you can’t tell me. I’m your friend.”  
  
  
Disaster.  
  
  
It was an utter disaster.  
  
  
The slightly hurt look wrecked havoc with her feelings and Jane felt like whimpering, as her last defenses crumbled to the ground at her feet, leaving only the desire to envelop the other woman in a hug and reassure her that everything would be alright.  
  
  
“Maura, I know you’re my friend.” She said soothingly “But I’m not- I’m not in love… with anyone…” Coffee completely forgotten, the brunette moved closer and laid a comforting hand on the blonde’s arm. “And I’m still not sure about that European saying… I mean, really?! If a cook salts his food too much, he’s in love?”  
  
  
Maura nodded, deciding that Jane was still lying. How she was so sure, she didn’t know. But she decided to let the other woman off the hook for now.  
  
  
“Yes, that is how they perceive it.” She then grinned from ear to ear, something that caused Jane to look at her in shock and slight fear “And I can say, from my own personal experience… Although, just one previous observation is nowhere near enough to draw solid conclusions… I will  _hypothesize_  that you, Jane, are in love.”  
  
  
The brunette looked on, not blinking.  
  
  
“When you cooked dinner on Wednesday, you did put too much salt in the sauce. And now you’re salting your coffee. If this keeps on happening I will have to change my hypothesis to an actual fact.” The doctor explained, patted the hand still resting on her arm and left with her coffee cup in hand.  
  
  
Jane stared after her, for the second time that day, completely bewildered. She stood stock still, her brain trying to grasp the situation she found herself in. She only moved about half an hour later when her phone rang, scaring the crap out her, and the coffee pot went flying through the air.


End file.
